Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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