There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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