my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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