Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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