man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
