singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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