Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
FUCK WHALES
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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