i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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