meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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