if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
