I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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