Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
