you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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