Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
