This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
