Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
