The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
