I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize