My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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