I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
