Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
