Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize