Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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