I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
