maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just high enough for therapy.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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