I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
