I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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