i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize