Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
