i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
