I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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