What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
