As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
