playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it fun? or sober?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
