I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
