ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize