help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just blew my weed a kiss
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
