watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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