its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
