sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
