She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
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He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
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My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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