We're like a lot better than the average bears
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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