Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
