I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
