thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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