This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
