Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My liver just had a heart attack.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
