twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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