You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
