I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
