It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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