you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize