I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize