She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
