I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
