We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
