who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All the doctor said was why
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
