i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
