Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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