3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
