Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(640): View more from

I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

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(858): View more from California

i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader

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(909): View more from California

If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis

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(828): View more from North Carolina

At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point

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(224): View more from Illinois

My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.

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(802): View more from Vermont

I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.

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