I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
