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if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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