Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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